At Full Brightness by Thanh-Thao Sue Do

Author:Thanh-Thao Sue Do [Do, Thanh-Thao Sue]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781637305447
Publisher: New Degree Press
Published: 2021-08-01T21:41:02+00:00

Chapter 12

Boundaries and Spiritual Comfort

After that eventful night of the contest, I came to a revelation about my writing abilities. I was no longer that insecure freshman, and I gained a new understanding of boundaries and making choices for myself, even if those choices brought disapproval from my mother. Before long, sophomore year came and went. Not much happened during that year, other than the fact that I dealt with the sudden death of my paternal grandmother who had long been suffering from dementia.

Then junior year came and now I was overcome with new expectations in my academics: studying for the dreaded SAT tests and deciding on colleges.

The Saturday morning sun peeked in through the window as I lay on my bed, thinking of all the future endeavors I had yet to complete. I flipped over onto my stomach, holding my journal and reading through each word I had written so far. Some entries were sad and others were just the roller-coaster of emotions that I experienced while I was dealing with teenage angst.

I had come a long way, but sometimes still doubted myself. I questioned myself and my ability to surpass the boundaries set by my family and my culture, but mainly, my mother. I leaned over and grabbed my phone to dial Tanya. Three rings later, she picked up, her cheerful voice ringing on the other end.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Tanya!” I replied, my tone less cheerful than hers.

“Hey, Mai, what’s up? You sound a little bummed out? Everything okay?”

“Well, yeah, I guess. I mean, I was just thinking about that writing competition we participated in back in freshman year and I was remembering the moment we both walked across the stage after winning and how everyone cheered for us; I felt so special that day. It was one of the happiest days of my life.”

“You’re brave,” Tanya said, like she always did. As long as I had my best friend Tanya by my side, nothing could deter my goals of being a writer. We talked and laughed about our lives, the crazy world of parental pressures, the similarities of us navigating through life with disabilities and ableism. We talked for hours and before long, I glanced at the clock and realized it was almost two o’clock in the afternoon.

“Hey, friend, I gotta go. Thanks for listening.”

“Anytime, Mai! Bye!” I heard the telltale clicking sound of Tanya hanging up the phone on her end.

I always felt better after talking to Tanya because it truly felt like she was always on my side whenever I had issues or insecurities. Although I had my siblings, Tanya was a good friend and someone other than my family who I could talk to. She encouraged me to speak my mind, which was the opposite of what was taught in my house. In my house, speaking up for one’s own opinion was a sign of disrespect, and listening to my elders and parents meant I was meeting the obligations of a respectful and meek daughter. Perhaps,

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